There comes a time in every dancer’s life when she must decide to retire. For reasons of age, injury, or financial reasons, it will happen to all of us and because of the work we do it is not often an easy transition.
This is my story of how I made the transition and how I handled the physical, financial, and psychological mess it made of my life.
Let me start just before the end. It was just a few months before my 35th birthday. I had been dancing professionally for about 15 years and the last three had me on top of the industry. I had no problem keeping myself booked for six months in advance and was able to command $150 plus per show. This usually included free accommodations, food, and booze. With tips this amounted to anywhere from $5,000 to $8,000 weekly., a good deal of money in anyone’s books.
However, I decided to retire because I wanted to leave while I was still considered one of the best. I didn’t want to start hearing from my peers that it was time for me to retire, that I was getting tired and old. I had heard this about some of my other friends and didn’t want to be thought of that way. Quit while you’re ahead was my basic reason.
At first I thought it would be easy, you know take a few months off and then find a job. Yeah, Right! It just doesn’t happen that way. What we all forget is that although we are all hard working and dependable, we were still strippers and that alone will eliminate most job possibilities right from the start. Employers have a very low view of strippers, even if you were the best in the country and made two or three times their monthly salary in a week.
That was the first shock. The second was not having people pay attention to me. When I was a star, I was always the center of attraction. It wasn’t my ego, it was everyone else. That’s the way people treated me. Suddenly I’m invisible, like no one knows I exist. I don’t have body guards, I don’t get perks . . . it was awful.
Then came the worst part . . . for one thing, the money ran out. Not only would no one hire me or even know I exist, but I’d run out of money, too. What do you do when you run out of money? You borrow from friends. Friends are a funny thing though, when you have lots of money you have lots of friends. But when your money runs out, where did all your friends go. Remember the ones you bailed out of tough spots because you were a good person and you could? That’s right, those ones. Most of them have suddenly disappeared or won’t return your phone calls.
Life gets tough for a while so off you go to the Welfare Office. They’ll give you some money, but not enough to live on unless you have a few kids, which I don’t. Even then things are tight. Suddenly they don’t want you to be on welfare anymore and they send you to school . . . the “How to Get a Job” school. You don’t have to go but if you don’t they cut you off. There’s eight hours of the day gone. Next they send you to upgrading which is marginally better because at least you’re getting some useful education.
When that’s done you get to put your newly learned job finding skills to the test. They want you to apply for about twenty jobs a day. That way they figure you should be working within a month. What they don’t understand is that everyone in your class is applying for the same jobs and none of them get hired because they are all unskilled like you.
This is where you have to get creative. Decide what it is that you want to do with the rest of your life. You can’t feature anymore so you have to think of something fast. Once you have your new dream in hand, put it on paper and do some research into the industry you have chosen. What is the market for that skill over the next few years. Can you make a good living at it? If you can’t, think of something else to do
When you find the right thing, Take all your information back down to the Welfare Office and tell them you want to take a course in your chosen area. Chances are they will pay you while you are going to school and pay for the course and all books and even bus fare to get there every day.
I chose Hotel and Restaurant Administration. After a year I was working at the biggest and best hotel in town at the front desk. The pay was good and I had lots of people paying attention to me. Next thing I knew I was offered a job as General Manager of the first Quizno’s in Quebec. They sent me for training courses in Toronto for six weeks and then another 2 weeks down in Denver, Colorado.
Talk about a turnaround. Suddenly I’m someone again. I wondered why the change was so dramatic . . . from no one to someone again. Then it hit me, I’d distanced myself enough from the Industry that it didn’t show up on my resume anymore. No one was the wiser although some people suspected it because of my physical shape.
I have to admit that I missed the lights and all the attention though. Once it’s in your blood it’s hard to get it out. As Debra Dare once said “The only way out of this industry is in a pine box.” I’m afraid she’s right. You’ll never make as much money in a regular job as you did featuring and you probably won’t have as much fun either. But then again you still have your memories of a great time in your life.
I have actually gone back to dancing again. Just table dancing though. I made enough money to put a down payment on a house and built a studio. Now I’m shooting adult video’s and photo shoots for the internet and building adult websites in my spare time. It’s good to be back in the limelight again. I guess it will be a pine box when I finally get out. At least we don’t age on the internet and I’ve kept myself in great shape since I left. For those of you who are interested the three websites I have built so far are elegantobsessions.com, kristyoneil.com, and themistressofpain.com. They are all pay sites but have great tours. Drop by anytime or leave me a message at kristyoneil@live.ca.
